At some point in life, everyone experiences stress, anxiety, or overwhelming emotions. However, when the body perceives a situation as threatening—whether physically, emotionally, or psychologically—it can trigger a survival response. These reactions, often referred to as Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn, are the body’s automatic defence mechanisms designed to protect us in moments of perceived danger.
For some people, these responses become ingrained patterns, showing up in everyday life even when no immediate threat is present. This is particularly common for individuals who have experienced prolonged stress, adversity, or difficult past experiences. By understanding these reactions, we can begin to recognise them in ourselves and others, leading to greater self-awareness, improved mental well-being, and the ability to make healthier choices.
The Four Trauma Responses
Flight: The Urge to Escape
The Flight response is the instinct to remove oneself from a situation perceived as dangerous. This could be a physical escape—such as leaving a stressful environment—or a psychological one, such as avoiding confrontation or distracting oneself with work or other activities.
Signs of the Flight Response:
Workaholism – Keeping constantly busy to avoid difficult emotions.
Over-thinking – Excessively analysing situations to maintain a sense of control.
Anxiety and panic disorders – Racing thoughts, excessive worry, obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
Difficulty sitting still – Feeling restless or agitated when not occupied.
Perfectionism – Believing that everything must be ‘just right’ to feel safe.
Avoidance – Dodging certain conversations, situations, or emotions that feel overwhelming.
Hyperactivity – Constant movement or fidgeting as a way of managing anxiety.
Sadness in loneliness – Feeling disconnected or uneasy when alone, prompting a need to keep busy.
For some, the Flight response can be beneficial, driving productivity and ambition. However, when taken to extremes, it can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and an inability to confront emotions directly.
Fight: The Instinct to Confront
The Fight response prepares the body to stand its ground. While this can be useful in situations where assertiveness is needed, it can also lead to aggressive or defensive behaviours when triggered unnecessarily.
Signs of the Fight Response:
Anger outbursts – Sudden explosions of frustration or rage.
Controlling behaviour – The need to micromanage people or situations.
“The bully” mentality – Becoming confrontational or assertive to mask vulnerability.
Explosive behaviour – Acting out impulsively under stress.
Irritability – Feeling easily annoyed or impatient.
Judgement – Criticising oneself or others harshly.
Slamming doors – Physically expressing frustration.
Self-harm – Turning distress inwards as a way of managing overwhelming emotions.
The Fight response is not always about physical aggression—it can also show up as internalised anger, self-criticism, or difficulty trusting others. Recognising this pattern can help individuals explore healthier ways to express emotions and set boundaries without conflict.
Freeze: The Feeling of Being Stuck
The Freeze response is when the body shuts down in response to stress. Rather than running or fighting, a person may feel paralysed, as if they are unable to move or react.
Signs of the Freeze Response:
Difficulty making decisions – Feeling stuck and unable to choose a course of action.
Dissociation – Feeling disconnected from oneself or the world around them.
Isolating – Withdrawing from social situations or relationships.
Numbness – A lack of emotional response, even to significant events.
Shut down – Mentally or emotionally detaching as a coping mechanism.
Exhaustion – Feeling constantly drained or lacking motivation.
Indecision – Feeling overwhelmed by choices and unable to commit.
Sleeping excessively – Using sleep as a form of escape from stress.
The Freeze response often stems from feelings of helplessness or being overwhelmed. Learning to reconnect with the present moment through grounding techniques, mindfulness, or gentle movement can help individuals break the cycle of emotional paralysis.
Fawn: The Need to Please
The Fawn response is often less recognised but equally significant. It involves prioritising others’ needs above one’s own to maintain safety and connection.
Signs of the Fawn Response:
People-pleasing – Struggling to say no or express personal needs.
Feeling overwhelmed – Emotionally drained from trying to keep everyone happy.
Lack of boundaries – Difficulty asserting personal limits.
Loss of identity – Adapting to others’ expectations rather than developing a strong sense of self.
Codependency – Relying on others for validation or self-worth.
Appeasing behaviour – Avoiding conflict by always agreeing or complying.
Excessive engagement – Becoming overly involved in others’ problems at the expense of one’s own well-being.
Self-criticism – Blaming oneself for perceived failures.
People who experience the Fawn response may struggle with self-worth and feel trapped in unhealthy relationships. Recognising this pattern is the first step towards building self-confidence, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritising personal well-being.
Breaking Free from Automatic Responses
While these survival responses are natural, they can become deeply ingrained habits that affect mental health and relationships. Recognising these patterns is the first step towards creating positive change.
Ways to Begin Healing:
Self-awareness – Start by noticing when these responses arise in daily life.
Grounding techniques – Use breathing exercises, movement, or mindfulness to reconnect with the present.
Therapeutic support – Speaking to a counsellor or advocate can help process past experiences and develop healthier coping strategies.
Setting boundaries – Learning to say no and prioritising your own needs is crucial, especially for those with Fawn tendencies.
Healthy emotional expression – Finding safe ways to express anger, sadness, or anxiety—whether through writing, art, or talking—can help regulate emotions.
You Are Not Alone: Moving Forward with Support
Understanding trauma responses is a powerful step towards healing. These patterns—Flight, Fight, Freeze, and Fawn—develop as survival mechanisms, but they do not have to define you forever. By recognising when and how these responses show up, you can begin to regain control over your emotions, reactions, and choices.
Healing is not about ‘fixing’ yourself—you are not broken. Instead, it’s about learning to navigate emotions in a way that supports your well-being rather than overwhelming you.
How Can You Begin to Move Forward?
Acknowledge Your Response – Do you tend to overwork yourself (Flight)? Do you get defensive or irritable (Fight)? Do you feel stuck or numb (Freeze)? Do you struggle to say no (Fawn)? Recognising these patterns helps break their hold on you.
Practice Self-Compassion – Survival responses are not weaknesses; they are deeply ingrained protective mechanisms. Treat yourself with kindness as you navigate them.
Use Grounding Techniques – If you feel overwhelmed, grounding exercises such as deep breathing, movement, or sensory activities (touching a textured object, listening to calming sounds) can help bring you back to the present.
Seek Support – Talking to someone who understands can be life-changing. Mental Health Matters Wales offers services to support individuals struggling with mental health challenges. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Set Small Goals – Healing isn’t about instant change. Every small step—whether it’s setting a boundary, practising self-care, or reaching out for help—makes a difference.
If you are struggling with overwhelming emotions, know that support is available. Mental Health Matters Wales provides advocacy and mental health services to help individuals navigate challenges and improve their well-being.
No matter where you are in your journey, you are not alone. There is hope, and there is help. Take the first step today.
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